Love can be there for you; it could be a stuffed bear!


Some weeks ago, I was in a church when a blind couple on their late 50’s drew my attention. The guy hugged his partner by putting his arm around her shoulder. She responded to that by grabbing her pony-tail and caressed his cheek with that. What a beautiful scene, and this was not a movie. Was that love or just a gesture of tenderness? To what degree tenderness is allowed in love? Some people love to be cuddled all the time, no matter if they are in public or in private, others just in private and others are not the cuddling types at all. Is snuggling something that people should do before sex and/or after? Or cuddling can happen no matter what? And is snuggling enough in a relationship or sex should be part of it as well? Is the platonic love okay?

Another situation captured my eye some weeks ago during a rainy day. I was walking on Santa Monica Blvd when I noticed something on the street. At first, I passed by without taking a picture. Surprising! Because I take million of pictures every day, lol. But then I decided to walk back and took a shot of that. By themselves, the objects that were on the floor were not that relevant, but they were for sure to the person to whom they belonged. There were a cup, some wrapping paper, probably of a bagel and a backpack that contained a teddy bear. I was a little embarrassed because after taking a picture of all that, the owner came back and sat there with all his belongings. On my way back home, I saw again that homeless guy who was hugging his bear sharing to “him/her” his love. What a great, sweet but sad image that I chose as the picture of my post of today.

Moving forward in my questioning about love, let’s consider a particular feeling. I am talking about those feelings that people have of missing their partners/friends. What is behind sentences like “I missed you” or “I miss you”? Why do people miss others? How many times do you say “I miss you” every day? To whom do you express that sentence? Do you really feel it? Or you just say it because it sounds good or because you may have to? And why when we break with somebody we feel we cannot live without that person? But then, things get better and it is not that we die because of love or I should say a loss of love. Is it not a Romeo&Juliet or Tristan&Isolde story. Even though, we sometimes hear stories about people who killed themselves for love or maybe just because they are not strong enough to face life by themselves.

A final subject of my post about love is centered on flirting/cheating. Recently, I read a couple of articles in The Los Angeles Times. One of them was talking about this woman who had been cheated by her husband. She had decided to forgive him and to go on with their marriage. They had stayed together for about 2 more decades, but then they had finally got divorced. Her husband got married and she sees him and his new wife frequently. So forgiveness is possible, but that does not mean that things will work later on. Apparently, if there is a problem or more than one in a couple, the best way is to solve it/them. Sometimes people think that situations will fix by themselves. But it is not easy and possible because people create the settings, we are responsible for them and it is our duty to work out the situation. The other article in The Los Angeles Times was talking about cheating as well, but it was more like a consideration of how couples function. According to the passage couples usually have like a 2-year passion, when things are amazing, lovers feel butterflies; and everything seems to be at the right place or maybe the Romeo&Juliet/Romeos/Juliets are so blind in love that they do not see what is really going on. Next, there is a final realization of the couple or maybe of one of them that something is not like the way it was. So at this point there is the tendency to look outside the couple for some new, more or less exciting “entertainment”. According to the article, if the couple is able to resist this inclination to cheating or if the couple gets over one or more infidelities, the partners are destined to stay longer together. And at a certain point, usually after the kids, if the family has some, leave to go to college, the couple will be about to experience again a passion that is similar to the one they had in their first 2-year liaison. Later on, the lovers will stay together and being older with a strong, different commitment and bond. What is cheating at the end? Is a one-night stand ok? And what about having a long time lover outside the couple? And is flirting a kind of deception, infidelity?

Love is such a mystery and it has so many aspects that people cannot understand or have enough time to discover in their life. But at the end, no matter how much curious, scared, excited, adventurous, all individuals more or less look repeatedly for that 4-letter word that will move their hearts and make them feel alive.


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