Love, Sex and Family… 1st Part


Last Saturday, I finished the book “How To Think More About Sex” written by Alain de Botton. I have to say that there are some good points of which I am going to talk about in some of my posts.

In this one, my focus is on the three desires of the society: love, sex and family. It was very interesting to me how the idea of marriage has changed in the history of humanity. The common, modern concept is that when you get married the three desires should be found in the selfsame person. But in the past it was not like that at all. There was a time when, and I quote Alain de Botton, “these three distinct needs for love, sex and family – were wisely differentiated and separated out from one another.”

So, as the three windows in the picture there was a time when the above-mentioned desires were satisfied by more than one individual.

THE FIRST WINDOW: In the twelfth-century, southern-eastern province of France known as Provence, a group of poets called troubadours were experts in romantic love also defined as courtly love and used to talk and experience a platonic love. Subsequently, there was nothing physical about it; the poems and the lyrics were the expression of the admiration, desire and of course of the love that the composer had for their muses. This reminds of the feeling that Lucrezia Borgia and Pietro Bembo shared some centuries later. Here it is what Bembo wrote for “donna” Lucrezia,

“if during this period you chance to find your ears are ringing it will be because I am communing with all those dark things and horrors and tears of yours, or else writing pages about you that will still be read a century after we are gone.”



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