Some days ago three friends were telling me how disappointed they are about their partners, sexually speaking. We all know how difficult, complicated relationships are; two imperfect human beings trying to make perfect what can be just imperfect, but that could be better and improved than what it is.
Two of my three friends have been in long-term relationships and their situations are a little bit different one from the other. One of them has not had a sexual intercourse with the partner for a very long time, and the situation does not seem to get any better. Temptations are on her way and even though she has been extremely direct with her husband, this latter is not doing anything at all to change the present condition. And in the meantime, new people are getting interested in her while her husband is becoming more and more blind. The other friend was complaining about the different approach, frequency and time of his couple’s sexual intercourse. Apparently, his wife is very committed to her job and over-stressed; she stays up until late at night and then after that in order to calm herself down she tries to have sex with her husband. In the meantime, this one has been in bed for a few hours and the last thing in his mind is to do that, he just wants to sleep. But once the husband wakes up in the morning, another disappointment comes by: the wife still sleeps and she does not be in this type of intercourse. The husband also would like to have sex at least three times weekly, but it is much less frequent than that. The last of my friend has recently started to date this girl. He told me that their intimacy is okay, nothing very special. However, the couple has decided to be extremely honest to each other and even talk about that as well as their fantasies, their desires and even to teach some tricks to each other. What a smart idea!
In my previous marriage, my wife cheated on me for a period of about six months with a co-worker, to whom she then got married and had a kid with. Our almost 10-year long relationship was not at its best very soon after our marriage. One of the main issues was of course related to our copulation that was less common than to fall asleep on the couch. Even though, we used to hug each other every night in front of the television, nothing was happening before or after that. At a certain point, I decided that it was not just mainly up to me to take the initiative and for a couple of months I did not sexually approach her, hoping that she would have come my way. Well, instead of doing that, she let somebody else get in and screw her. I do not think that she was very honest to me, but I cannot really blame her; everybody needs that intimacy and at a certain point she got it from someone else.
Relationships are difficult, but sex matters in a love relationship and if we stupidly think that it does not we are just fooling each other. It is true that there is a shift in the relationships year after year, it changes into a different level. People are tired, stressed, fight, have arguments, then talk, solve problems, get closer, although sometimes like two friends do, but sex is not the first option. People have sexual instincts, we jerk off, we fantasize about it, yet they do not perform it enough, at least not as couple. Yes, individuals are different from animals, but they have some of their characteristics and because of that we also like to f. and that is a fact. It is a love relationship, but it is also sex; sometimes you just make love, other times you just screw your partner. It is interesting how people can get so sexual with strangers sometimes, while instead being so conservative and moderate with the official partners. But what about, if like some therapists suggest, let ourselves go and see the partners with a new perspective like a stranger who sees you for the first time and just want to take you in the corner, push you on the wall and f. you. Let’s burn the television, let’s talk more, do more things together, but let’s principally have more sex with our partners.
At the end, would you like to be the one who screws your partner or would you like that one of the people in line at his/her door does the naughty job for you?