Some days ago I read this quote by Joquess Eugenia.
I quote her,
“I no longer have the energy for meaningless friendships, forced interactions or unnecessary conversations. If we don’t vibrate on the same frequency there’s just no reason for us to waste our time. I’d rather have no one and wait for substance than to not feel someone and fake the funk.”
Indeed, it is very interesting how during the years we change and with that our approach towards friendship develops differently as well. There’s no need, urgency or whatsoever to have a complete team of soccer players as friends in your life, but instead more or less one full hand of friends is enough. Of course, some old friends will be the fingers of the other hand, but as to the new one the selection will be very extreme.
Supposedly this is the result of the fact that we grow up, that we are busier and busier, but it is also a condition that the value of friendships and relationships is subjective, relative and more or less genuine. When we are younger, it is more important to have a big group of friends, to be popular, to be the one that everybody wants to have at their parties. Later on, this idea is or at least should be not that relevant; at the end it is better to have a small bunch of friends rather than a line of “friends”. The fact of being busy is another feature of having less friends when we are older: although we may have been busy because we had to study during our younger years, there was always more time for friends. This because we did not have a family of our own, a partner, children, and also not a job as well as many errands and chores that we have to perform every single day. At the end we all value relationships dissimilarly but as to my point of view I think that friendship is an extremely important liaison, that it should be just genuine and nothing else. This guides me to another point that the writer mentioned as “forced interactions” and “unnecessary conversations”.
Who wants to be forced to do anything? Well, I guess nobody and more than that who desires to be in a forced interaction? Probably some masochists like that because of many different reasons. But as to me I do not want to start any communication in which I am not completely interested in or at least partially involved in. Who has time and wish for an unnecessary conversation? Is it not better in that case to shut our fucking mouths.
Thank you Joquess Eugenia for your inspiring quote!