When your mind is so full of creativity and you just have to find your way or someone, not only yourself who believes in you …
I am sure all of us had some moments when we questioned ourselves about the next step to make in order to feel more gratified. Some times it is not even that but more deeply to actually wonder about the reason why we should even care about doing more.
In the past I believed that as long as I had money to pay bills, buy expensive clothes and do something fun, I was ok. I remember that once a person read my handwriting and she pointed out the fact that I had a lot of potential and that I should just venture mysel more.
Over 8 years ago I changed continent and of course I had to deal with all the bureaucratic system and to find a new way of supporting myself in the new environment. I found something that is way more exciting than what I used to do.
No matter that, I still question myself and I have been working on my inner, spiritual essence. In the last two years I have progressed deeply, but there is always a sort of dissatisfaction that pushes me to do more, makes me complain about myself, and try something new. However, with the excitement comes also the fear but most of all the big question? What the heck am I doing this when all I want is maybe just to be naked at the beach?
Somebody says that as long we have fun doing what we are doing, we are already on the right path. Day by day we get caught in a circle of interrogative sentences that nobody can answer but us. However, those questions will only find an answer when their time comes.
Do things not for the outcome but for the pleasure. Am I writing this for me, for you or for whatsoever? I guess I’ll find out one day.
“…Even though I’ve been a bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad girl
Tell me what you’re gonna do about that
Punish me please
Tell me what you’re going to do with all of this
All up in your face
Yeah, hell yeah
Ride it so deep
Ooh my shit’s so good it ain’t even right
I know I’m right
Hell yeah you the shit
That’s why you’re my equivalent
We’re so much more than pointless fixtures
‘Cause soon boy, gonna rock that ching-ching-ching (rock that ching-ching-ching)
Cyclical little trends, tryna fit in
Home is where the heart is
Goddammit I’m comfortable in my skin
Comfortable in my skin
You look so comfortable in my skin, skin, skin
Rockets and waterfalls.”
A couple of weeks ago I started to go to the gym. After my daily working out I head downstairs to take a shower , use the sauna and then shower again. It is interesting to observe how people act in the locker room.
I was raised in a family where nudity was not a problem at all. Since we were children, my brother and I used to be in the bathroom with our parents and once in a while even walking around the apartment naked.
While growing up and going to the gym, swimming pool or being at the locker room during the high school years, I got even more used to be without clothes in front of other people.
In the dressing room, some people seem to get more or less uncomfortable when they undress or put their clothes back. I guess that it is not a matter of gender, but of being more or less prude.
Due to that, people struggle to put their underwear and bra on while still being covered with a big towel that protect their precious organs. However, in the meantime all the voyeurs do what everybody does: peek at others, look at who has a better part of the body or fantasize about that person.
Some days ago, I was in the locker room and two other guys were there as well. One person and I, still dressed, were about to start our workout while another just finished and was getting rid of those sweated habiliments. It was funny to see how the still dressed guy was observing the naked one, pretending not to look at him. Well, the man without clothes on had a great body and for the first time I saw what we, Italians, define as the “culo a mandolino”.
I am definitely happy that I do not have to hide myself. I do not care about how big or small my genital organs are. Well, although bigger is always better than smaller, it is also a matter of how you can use your jewels. If it were for me, I would just walk outside naked and be an Adam pacing my feet on this world.
Take off your clothes, f..k discretion, just show what you have. At the end, it is just a locker room, you are not on 5th Avenue during rush hours.